Your Love Never Fails

the deer

water

i think i have reached a place with my God, that i cant live without him.. without him nothing makes sense.. he makes me who i am.. and who i want to be.. he is my purpose.. my hope.. my future and my present .. king, father, creator,lover, friend.. i need him to be complete.. when i stray away from him .. when for some reason i feel he is far away from me .. i feel empty.. and dry.... my soul dies without him..i need him.. i love him and i am see how much he loves me
when i feel everything is just to hard.. its too hard to follow him .. when i feel no one understands me and i choose to go against him .. when i choose to live for less than i was meant to .. when i choose to believe what the world feeds me even when i know it is all lies .... he opens my eyes .. i see him everywhere.. i feel his embrace .. i see him pursing me .. loving me .. no matter what .. no matter what i have done .. no matter who i have become .. he loves unconditionally .. his love is greater that anything i have ever felt .. and i have never felt it anywhere else ..his love makes me understand how one is willing to sacrifice oneself for another person. to go to great lenghts just to serve someone else .. his love changes people .. his love changed me..
he makes our hearts sensitive of him, of his spirit.. moves us .. breaks us .. melts us.. shakes our inner being from the core to the point that what breaks his heart breaks yours.. you want to love how he has loved you .. its hard .. if I said it any other way i would be lying, its exhausting .. it takes time .. you have to search for him, pursue him .. want him with all your heart .. but i do not regret it.. i do not regret being who i was .. because i Got to feel him lifting me up .. i got to feel him changing me .. telling me who i am .. loving me for the girl he created.. his love never fails ..

the better, the greater

I have this theory.. that in some point in our lives we all go through some sort of existential crises.. i had mine not that long ago .. this theory of mine could be a way of me not feeling like a weirdo or a deep realization about our human nature ( or something like that) we all want to know why we are here.. why are we alive? am i special to anybody out there ? ..Do i have some special purpose here on earth? if i where to die tomorrow.. was the life worth living?
I know the answer to most of these questions.. deep down in the core of my heart.. I know the moment my life stopped being my own.. the moment i decided i didnt want to live just to live .. my life started to mean something.. i was always special to Him.. he always Loved me.. and will always love me no matter what.. but i was didnt see it .. i was too consumed in myself... i never saw anything but me..sometime i go back to that.. life starts giving me crap .. and i focus on that .. i get stuck in my sucky littly rut .. focus on stupid little things .. and forget about the greater.. the better ..