im THERE

i think im coming to a point in my life.. yes, if you have read my other posts, you know.. im there..right after high school, right before college.. and now its two months in between.. and im facing probably one of the biggest decision im ever going to make in my life.. what do i want to study?, what life to i want to live?, who am i going to be?in the end i kind of know.. yet don't know the answers to my questions
-what am i going to study? psychology, or something like that .. im still not sure.. but i do know something along that realm.

- what life am i going to live?, i want to live a life that is pleasing in the eyes of my God,im in love with him.. i trust him ,not going to say im not scared.. i am, i have no idea whats coming.. i went to a small christian school.. and im going to yes.. a private,Honduran university.. but..its huge, yes, some of my friends will be there.. well two of my high school friends.. but .. its not like im going to be following them around..were probably going to have different classes.. different groups of friends..i mean were still going to be friends but.. its not like im going to see them everyday... its not going to be like in high school.
_who am i going to be? well this one, i could say is the easiest one ..but its not... the first thing i would say .. me, im just going to be me.. of course,but i know im going to change.. its natural, people change..and this something that i have no idea .. time will tell,

right now the first thing i want to do, is to put it off... egh, its two months, whatever..i have time .
but then.. time flies by in front of my eyes..june went by..and i didn't even notice.
its going to be the same with these two months.
its scary it really is..
i guess all i can do is put it in Gods hands, trust him
everything is going to be ok..

this bible verse.. the moment i read it, it brought peace to my heart..
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
im ok.. and i will be ok.. no matter what.. there is always someone looking out for me
God says: im there, i always have been..always will be..things change.. people come..people go..but im still the same.rely on me..
dont be scared.. im here.. and im not going anywhere..

Im Going to be OK

soo lately things have been happening in my life.
( by things I mean, not getting accepted to Calvin) and for me it would be easy to give up, ( For me giving up would mean staying to study here in Honduras, i thought it was fine but its not, I WANT MORE), so I started to freak out, as I saw other people getting accepted into colleges, certain of their future, I felt like I was in the air, not knowing where to fall.

....but before I applied to Calvin I prayed, in fact I even mentioned it in the essay "if its Gods will for me to Get into this college, i will be accepted."
and I didnt Get accepted.
when my mother, (who kept the letter from me for a week,before i saw it ) told me I didnt get accepted, I have to admit, I wasnt happy, but I wasnt Sad either .. its wierd.. I didnt feel a thing
Im just like.. ok, so I guess that not it
the next couple weeks after this, a Sudden fear came into my life, I applied to this university for the sole fact that it had a fee waiver, I started to Obsses with anything college related, but since my Gpa(1.7) and my sat ( not extraordiny) was still the same, I felt like I wasnt Good enough for any of them.
NOW, I have come to the Realization I was Meant For something more, I dont need a college to me who I am.I have HOPE and A FUTURE, and im not Going to let anyone one else decide what to do with my life, when i decided I to Give my life to God, I wanted to do so completly, whether I go to college or not.
and lately I have been feeling, college shouldnt be what i should Focus on.
last weekend when I was in my schools retreat,
there was this time, where everyone who wanted to make a stand for God came to the front and the teachers started praying over us, I feel to my knees... literally fell to my knees, I started crying.. weeping.. sobing..and just pouring my heart out to God, My worries about my future, My desire to live a life worthy of His name..
somebody started praying over me..
my Body started shaking,
and the words from the bible verse came into my mind ... YOU HAVE A HOPE AND A FUTURE
God has been working in me lately, I can feel it, I know it, and I know my purpose in this life is to serve him, and I feel I have a calling For this to be my life.
this next year, after Graduating from Highschool,
I will not be Going to college.
I dont know if eventually, i will, i want to study psycology, perhaps further along,
but Right now.. I Know God has something else for me.
God Says:
SERVE ME
FOLLOW ME
and this is what im going to do.
Ive been thinking, maybe I could do A mission trip
my friend mentioned YWAM, or i could Go to Ihop (international House of prayer), but I dont know if ther accept internationals yet...or i could go to CFNI (Christ for the nations).. I still dont know..
im searching, fasting, praying.. to see what God has in store for me..
if you feel like you know of a place for me to go, or know something from theese places .. please tell me ..i would really apreciate it,
leave a comment
or email me to zoegarcia_92@yahoo.com