the resolution

i never make new years resolutions.. im always like "why bother?, im not gonna do it anyway"
i used to always say ... im gonna eat healtier.. do more excercise .. that kind of thing.. but nothing ever changed so then i came to a point where. why even bother...right? i gave up even before the year started ,
i dont remenber what goals i had set for 2010.. but i do know this year set a big mark in my life
it was a big year ..i feel like ive grown ...spiritually , emotionally, .. ive changed.
big things happened this year..some Good some bad..some in between.
i feel different,
i know im not perfect...but i feel more confident , this year i am actually making alist of things i want to accomplish..to me this is a big deal.
this year 2011 i want to be more disciplined.. that is my biggest goal..
i want to grow closer to God this year, fall in love with him even more, and i never want to stop
last year i recognize ive been lazy ... in so many ways, but i renounce .. i have so much more to live for i refuse to live a life of feeling "blah"..i know there will be days where i wont feel this way ...
but i dont want this to take over my life. i know what i need to do.. read my bible, pray, fast.. seek him insesantly
i want to live a radical life for my God.. and i refuse to conform.. this year 2011, I want even more..

:) (18)

so its my eighteenth birthday ( or was) , its like 12:18 , in a Wednesday night..
here in Honduras 18 basically means, i can get a license ( yes until im 18), I can get an ID, if i could drive,( which i can, but not well enough yet),and  im sure this would feel like a big deal, but right now I feel, well the same, maybe it hasnt sunk in yet.. im 18, im a senior its wierd, time goes by soo fast , i feel old.. kinda

the other day, i was in my room, I was set upon doing my homework..(wich i didnt, but no worries i did it second period the next day), I had my ipod set on shuffle and this really great song by Switchfoot came up..this is your life .
and i dont know if youve ever felt this .. but i felt God speaking to me through that song
during theese months( me being a senior and all), i have been feeling , like .. well its hard to describe.. like my life hasnt started yet..
"THIS IS YOUR LIFE , ARE YOU WHO YOU WANT TO BE?"
THIS IS YOUR LIFE, ARE YOU EVERYTHING YOU DREAMED THAT IS WOULD BE WHEN THE WORLD WAS YOUNGER, AND YOU HAD EVERYTHING TO LOOSE"
theese words, i can just feel them ressonating in my insides, its like they go deep inside to somehwere even I didnt know existed in me
I have a bassic idea of what I want to be when i Grow up, i have this bassic idea of what i want my life to be ..
and i keep thinking about me in the future, looking back to where i am right now, what would i think?