Wednesday, August 1, 2012
BFF:) , (The still small voice)
so im back in Honduras..and everything feels the same .. everything seems back to normal. it feels like if the last 6/7 months have been a dream of some sort .. but the changes in me are obvious .. i feel different ..i dont feel like the same girl who left to kansas city 7 months ago.. the biggest change that i notice in myself .. I NEED JESUS.. yes I knew i needed Jesus before leaving to kansascity.. but now my dependance on him soo marked.. he makes me who I am .. he gives me life . but not only that .. He is my friend .. and not just a Good friend .. a Really.. really close friend.. my best Friend .. and I feel the need to talk to him about everything and by everything i mean everything.. and if i dont bring it up.. He does .. and he cares .. he is a Good friend, I like Jesus .. I willingly choose his opinion on things that matter, and sometimes things you would think dont matter.. but i still ask him and he answers .. and he cares sometimes more than I do..
having Jesus as my friend.. seeing him as someone who deeply loves me .. and cares about my heart .. who wants to hear my voice ..even if its to tell him about thing you would think are dumb .. yes.. I have changed.. i loved him 6/7 months ago.. but i didnt know how to talk to him .. you could even say i was scared/intimidated of Him not liking me .. so i always kept certain distance,out of respect ..I thought in my mind..but something changed and it was in the prayerRoom that this happened .. we had to spend 6 hours in there ...everyday..oneday..something inside me clicked.. He wants me to talk to him... he even made it a point of saying my Voice is lovely (Songofsolomon2:14) .. so I started to talking to him the only way i knew how ..Just talking to him..Praying.. i started to notice that i was having conversations .. in my Head.. and the person i was talking to ..wasnt me .. one day it Hit me .. it felt like lighting had struck my heart.. HE WANTS TO TALK TO ME .. he speaks .. he has feelings .. and he likes to express them.. he has a heart and its not closed up.. it hit me again....I have a relationship with God..the almighty God...he likes me .. He calls me his Friend.. he Calls me his daughter..and I have acess to His heart.. i love him and he loves me ..you would think this is something i would already know .. technically i already knew this .. see I grew up learning about this .. i grew up singing about songs about Jesus loving me .. but i learned that this being my mind wasnt really enough for it to be real to me.. for it to be a reality .. it had to be inside my heart ... when Jesus told me He loved me .. this was when i started to believe it for real.. i knew this . but my heart had never experienced this. i was made For him.. i was made to love him back.. he loved me first... :) i love Jesus ..he is cool.. and he is a person you can be real with.. he is someone you can tell everything to , he wont be upset or surprised or angry.. see he already knows..he already know your heart.. and he sees our hearts longing for him .. since he placed that there..he is a good friend ..He is trustworthy.. he cares .. he listens .. and he wants to tell you whats on his heart.. but we have to take the time to listen.. and he waits for us to start the conversation. and Yes.. this is a conversation worth having .
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
What am i doing? Where am i?
So i havent really written anything in a while and by a while i mean 6 months ..why? Well i was getting my mind and soul and emotions getting blown up and i was meeting the man i talk about in my blogpost and the man i want to do life with (Jesus)... I remenber agreeing with myslef ,making a personal commitment to write in this blog everything that i have learned and all that i experienced ..but its really hard to put into words ..and much more to put into a blogpost..i remenber trying to start a blogpost one time, i was feeling him feeling his prescence ..i was getting my mind blown and my emotions where all over the place (as in i couldnt stop crying,for some reason) but i couldnt even describe what i felt ..i didnt really know what was going on ..all i knew in that moment was that Jesus was close to me ...he went there ..to a place i never let anyone in and he liked it ..and it felt good ..it wasnt bad tears ( its really hard to explain) and this would happen quite a few times during this 6 months i disapeared in ...
What was i doing? u might be wondering..well i was (and currently am )in an internship in a ministry called IHOP (international house of prayer) (not the pancake place) in kansascity ,missouri ..the internship that i am in is called one thing and the best way to describe it is ...during six months you eat ,breathe ..Jesus ...u get teachings in the morning (and sometimes in the evening depending on the schedule) and then later u go to this place called the prayerRoom where u get to talk to Jesus about what u learned ..this is where the real deal happens ..where my heart gets blasted ..where i cry my eyes out and where the knowledge in my head goes to my heart..oh and the prayerRoom is ALWAYS on..(as in 24/7) when i was trying to explain to people what exactly i was coming to do here in kansas city i had trouble explaining this ..no i am not in the prayer room 24/7..and no i am not always praying even when i am in there ..there is cool music going on ..people worshiping Jesus ..and intercession ..most of the time both At the same time ..(most of the time i would just give them the link and tell them to see it for themselves ,yes its online 24/7) (the link is ihop.org/prayerroom.com) its sooo wierd and by wierd i mean bittersweet to think that there is litterally less than a week in a half left of this internship ..i still remener the first week ..i dont feel like her anymore ..im still zoe..but i feel different ,and i like it :) ..its gonna be hard to leave this place is soo unique ..in my 20 years of life ive never seen any place like this,but i quickly realized that the only thing that made this place special was the people ..and the yes in thier hearts ..and that they where all doing it together..but Jesus was in the center of everything (and i mean everything) and well in a place where Jesus is being worshipped 24/7 what else can we expect?..i love it :) this has to happen everywhere in the world ..Jesus is worthy of 24/7 ..its not too much ..in fact its not enough ..if human beings where able to it should be 24/8 or 64/90 ..he is worthy of it all .. :) i hope to see someday IHOP Honduras ,how?i have no idea ..but it should and if God wants to it will :) someday
What was i doing? u might be wondering..well i was (and currently am )in an internship in a ministry called IHOP (international house of prayer) (not the pancake place) in kansascity ,missouri ..the internship that i am in is called one thing and the best way to describe it is ...during six months you eat ,breathe ..Jesus ...u get teachings in the morning (and sometimes in the evening depending on the schedule) and then later u go to this place called the prayerRoom where u get to talk to Jesus about what u learned ..this is where the real deal happens ..where my heart gets blasted ..where i cry my eyes out and where the knowledge in my head goes to my heart..oh and the prayerRoom is ALWAYS on..(as in 24/7) when i was trying to explain to people what exactly i was coming to do here in kansas city i had trouble explaining this ..no i am not in the prayer room 24/7..and no i am not always praying even when i am in there ..there is cool music going on ..people worshiping Jesus ..and intercession ..most of the time both At the same time ..(most of the time i would just give them the link and tell them to see it for themselves ,yes its online 24/7) (the link is ihop.org/prayerroom.com) its sooo wierd and by wierd i mean bittersweet to think that there is litterally less than a week in a half left of this internship ..i still remener the first week ..i dont feel like her anymore ..im still zoe..but i feel different ,and i like it :) ..its gonna be hard to leave this place is soo unique ..in my 20 years of life ive never seen any place like this,but i quickly realized that the only thing that made this place special was the people ..and the yes in thier hearts ..and that they where all doing it together..but Jesus was in the center of everything (and i mean everything) and well in a place where Jesus is being worshipped 24/7 what else can we expect?..i love it :) this has to happen everywhere in the world ..Jesus is worthy of 24/7 ..its not too much ..in fact its not enough ..if human beings where able to it should be 24/8 or 64/90 ..he is worthy of it all .. :) i hope to see someday IHOP Honduras ,how?i have no idea ..but it should and if God wants to it will :) someday
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Monday, September 5, 2011
the vision
The Vision
The vision?
The vision is JESUS- obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.
The vision is an army of young people. You see bones? I see an army.
And they are FREE from materialism.
They laugh at 9-5 little prisions.
They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday. They wouldnt even notice.
They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the west was won.
They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations. They need no passport. People write their addressess in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.
They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying.
What is the vision?
The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes. It makes children laugh and adults angry. It gave up on the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars.
It scorns the good and strains for the best. It is dangerously pure. Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation.
It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Ssatan games. This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause.
A million times a day its soldiers choose to lose that they might one day win the great "Well done" of faithful sons and daughters.
Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night.
They don't need fame from names. Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: "COME ON!"
And this is the sound of the UNDERGROUND. The whisper of history in the making foundations- shaking revolutionaries dreaming- once again mystery is scheming in whispers conspiracy is breathing....
This is the sound of the underground and the army is discipl(in)ed.
Young people who beat their bodies into submission.
Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms. The tatoo on their back boasts "For me to live is Christ and to die is gain."
Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes. Winners. martyrs.
Who can stop them?
Can hormones hold them back?
Can failure succeed?
Can fear scare them or death kill them?
And the generation prays like a dying man with groans beyond talking, with warrior cries, sulphuric tears and with great barrow loads of laughter!
Waiting. Watching: 24-7-365.
Whatever it takes they will give: breaking the rules.
Shaking mediocrity from its cosy little hide. Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials.
The advertisers cannot mould them. Hollywood cannot hold them. Peer pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries.
They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive inside. On the outside? they hardly care. They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate but never to hide. Would they surrender their image or their popularity?
They would lay down their very lives- swap seats with the man on death row- guilty as hell. A throne for an electric chair. With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days, they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them. Their DNA transfusion with JESUS. ( He breathes out, they breathe in.)
Their subconscious sings, They had a blood transfusion with Jesus. Their words make demons scream in shopping centres.
Don't you hear them coming?
Herald the weirdos!
Summon the losers and the freaks.
Here comes the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes.
They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension. Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.
And this vision will be. It will come to pass; it willc ome easily; it will come soon. How do I know? Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God. My tomorrow is his today. My distant hope is his 3-D.
And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great "Amen!" from countless angels, from heroes of the faith, from Christ himself. And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.
Guaranteed.
- Pete Greig- Author of RedMoonRising.
The vision?
The vision is JESUS- obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.
The vision is an army of young people. You see bones? I see an army.
And they are FREE from materialism.
They laugh at 9-5 little prisions.
They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday. They wouldnt even notice.
They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the west was won.
They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations. They need no passport. People write their addressess in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.
They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying.
What is the vision?
The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes. It makes children laugh and adults angry. It gave up on the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars.
It scorns the good and strains for the best. It is dangerously pure. Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation.
It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Ssatan games. This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause.
A million times a day its soldiers choose to lose that they might one day win the great "Well done" of faithful sons and daughters.
Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night.
They don't need fame from names. Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: "COME ON!"
And this is the sound of the UNDERGROUND. The whisper of history in the making foundations- shaking revolutionaries dreaming- once again mystery is scheming in whispers conspiracy is breathing....
This is the sound of the underground and the army is discipl(in)ed.
Young people who beat their bodies into submission.
Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms. The tatoo on their back boasts "For me to live is Christ and to die is gain."
Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes. Winners. martyrs.
Who can stop them?
Can hormones hold them back?
Can failure succeed?
Can fear scare them or death kill them?
And the generation prays like a dying man with groans beyond talking, with warrior cries, sulphuric tears and with great barrow loads of laughter!
Waiting. Watching: 24-7-365.
Whatever it takes they will give: breaking the rules.
Shaking mediocrity from its cosy little hide. Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials.
The advertisers cannot mould them. Hollywood cannot hold them. Peer pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries.
They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive inside. On the outside? they hardly care. They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate but never to hide. Would they surrender their image or their popularity?
They would lay down their very lives- swap seats with the man on death row- guilty as hell. A throne for an electric chair. With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days, they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them. Their DNA transfusion with JESUS. ( He breathes out, they breathe in.)
Their subconscious sings, They had a blood transfusion with Jesus. Their words make demons scream in shopping centres.
Don't you hear them coming?
Herald the weirdos!
Summon the losers and the freaks.
Here comes the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes.
They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension. Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.
And this vision will be. It will come to pass; it willc ome easily; it will come soon. How do I know? Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God. My tomorrow is his today. My distant hope is his 3-D.
And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great "Amen!" from countless angels, from heroes of the faith, from Christ himself. And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.
Guaranteed.
- Pete Greig- Author of RedMoonRising.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
your calling is..
"Your calling is ...
your calling is to Find out who he is .. To go on a Treasure hunt and Discover who he is ..
we are made to think thoughts of God, to take verses and press them into our minds and Ask Questions
questions are the doorway to revelation .. God asks us questions to give us revelation of who he is..
- Cory Russel
your calling is to Find out who he is .. To go on a Treasure hunt and Discover who he is ..
we are made to think thoughts of God, to take verses and press them into our minds and Ask Questions
questions are the doorway to revelation .. God asks us questions to give us revelation of who he is..
- Cory Russel
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Let Me In (song by United Pursuit Band)
the lyrics to this song <3 they move me so much ..this is what God feels for you.
open your heart and let me in <3 .. I am aching with love for you ,
I am longing for you ..
look my way , look my way , look my way my love
its gonna be great its gonna be wild .. its gonna be full of me
his heart is aching with love for you ..
open your heart and let me in <3 .. I am aching with love for you ,
I am longing for you ..
look my way , look my way , look my way my love
its gonna be great its gonna be wild .. its gonna be full of me
his heart is aching with love for you ..
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