Your Love Never Fails

the deer

water

i think i have reached a place with my God, that i cant live without him.. without him nothing makes sense.. he makes me who i am.. and who i want to be.. he is my purpose.. my hope.. my future and my present .. king, father, creator,lover, friend.. i need him to be complete.. when i stray away from him .. when for some reason i feel he is far away from me .. i feel empty.. and dry.... my soul dies without him..i need him.. i love him and i am see how much he loves me
when i feel everything is just to hard.. its too hard to follow him .. when i feel no one understands me and i choose to go against him .. when i choose to live for less than i was meant to .. when i choose to believe what the world feeds me even when i know it is all lies .... he opens my eyes .. i see him everywhere.. i feel his embrace .. i see him pursing me .. loving me .. no matter what .. no matter what i have done .. no matter who i have become .. he loves unconditionally .. his love is greater that anything i have ever felt .. and i have never felt it anywhere else ..his love makes me understand how one is willing to sacrifice oneself for another person. to go to great lenghts just to serve someone else .. his love changes people .. his love changed me..
he makes our hearts sensitive of him, of his spirit.. moves us .. breaks us .. melts us.. shakes our inner being from the core to the point that what breaks his heart breaks yours.. you want to love how he has loved you .. its hard .. if I said it any other way i would be lying, its exhausting .. it takes time .. you have to search for him, pursue him .. want him with all your heart .. but i do not regret it.. i do not regret being who i was .. because i Got to feel him lifting me up .. i got to feel him changing me .. telling me who i am .. loving me for the girl he created.. his love never fails ..

the better, the greater

I have this theory.. that in some point in our lives we all go through some sort of existential crises.. i had mine not that long ago .. this theory of mine could be a way of me not feeling like a weirdo or a deep realization about our human nature ( or something like that) we all want to know why we are here.. why are we alive? am i special to anybody out there ? ..Do i have some special purpose here on earth? if i where to die tomorrow.. was the life worth living?
I know the answer to most of these questions.. deep down in the core of my heart.. I know the moment my life stopped being my own.. the moment i decided i didnt want to live just to live .. my life started to mean something.. i was always special to Him.. he always Loved me.. and will always love me no matter what.. but i was didnt see it .. i was too consumed in myself... i never saw anything but me..sometime i go back to that.. life starts giving me crap .. and i focus on that .. i get stuck in my sucky littly rut .. focus on stupid little things .. and forget about the greater.. the better ..

toy story 3

so .. my new favorite movie right now is toy story three... i saw it a couple weeks ago..and i still remember it .
i laughed.. i cried.. i even think it taught me something..
the same day i went to see this movie, i went to the airport to say goodbye to a really close friend of mine. who i know i will miss...and well i have been having to say goodbye to a lot of people recently..they are going to study in the states.. or going to the other half of the world and who knows when i will ever see them again .. or worse IF i will ever see them again.. the day i saw toy story three was a really sad day .. and im glad i saw it when i did.. i definitely lightened my day up
a part of me wants my friends to stay here and be with me always.. but that's just me being selfish
i want them to be happy .. i want them live and have a wonderful life .. whether im in it or not.
im sure there are people in my class i will probably never see again..it a part of life..and i accept it
in the end of the movie Andi didn't take his toys to college .. of course he didn't.. ( it would've been weird ) but he left them somewhere he knew they would be happy.. i cant do that for my friends..but i can pray for them .. i can encourage them .. i can be there for them no matter what.. loving them someone doesn't always mean wanting them to be with me forever.. part of loving is wanting to see them happy.

Dreamlab- Love to Love You

the point is taken

• dont lie to me
• but dont tell me im wrong
• because i know im not right
• it would ruin the song
• whos the person in the mirror
• I guess i just go along
• tomorrow ill be thinking clearer
• the end is like a tunnel
• the point is taken
• i feel like the im a funnel
• ... its mistaken
• why does it have to be this way?
• this is when i go and pray
• i just learned in this place i will stay
• i will love you anyway
• my heart goes out to you
• you know this is not okay
• i cant judge you
• i feel so Grey
• i miss you
• im in alphanumeric display

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